Song analysis: Sarah McLachlan - Arms Of An Angel

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance For the break that will make it ok

This is full of meaning for me - we all have problems in our lives, and we all try to work them out in our own way. But to hear it sung like this gives the whole notion a solid meaning for me. It seems we're always getting things wrong, and we're always picking ourselves back up, but we always fall back down. We tell ourselves to rely on God, to have faith, and we should. But we need to understand that idea from a different angle, instead of it being a hallow platitude. We have to learn by experience. That's the second chance the song speaks of. We're told that the reason we mess up is because we're not trying as hard as we could be; that if we just went that extra mile, if we just resolved to will that one thing, we'd get it right. That's the break that will make it ok. But we 'spend all our time waiting' for it. And it never comes. I need to realize that it's a combination of things. We try our hardest, of course; but we also have God's grace, which is an active power, given by the Spirit, to purify our spirits, bring us peace, strength, a Being that more and more mirrors Christ. It's just so hard to see, understand, or find this assurance.

There's always some reason to feel “not good enough? And it's hard at the end of the day

This speaks to me, because I like to use 'reason' alot. The above reasoning is what plagues spiritual progress - if you try harder, if you figure out the game of life, you'll be able to get ahead and win or win more often than you do now. But the point is that we have to fall back on the comfort God gives, and that baffles those who want a formula: it can't be a formula, since it's different for each individual. The formula is that which sooths the Reason - but Faith annoys Reason, and so it's hard at the end of the day, you can't figure the riddle out, and we're filled with anxiety. And we'll never satify our own expectations about what constitutes 'good enough', so we always feel inadequate, and we'll continue to feel that way unless we define our worth by Christ in us instead of some abritrary guideline we cooked up for ourselves. This is what starves the spirit, and this is what causes despair and ruin. But Christ is the bread of life.

I need some distraction, oh beautiful release Memories seep from my veins They may be empty and weightless, and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

The French philosopher Pascal speaks about 'distraction' alot in his Pansee's. It's how we deal with - almost unconsciously - our own despair, or what he calls 'our wretchedness'. Kierkegaard noted that everyone wants the poet to suffer because when he suffers, wonderful art is given birth. And this is what we fail to notice in ourselves. God's crucible, our pain, His compulsion, is not only our liberation, but the means whereby his divine workmanship is painted on the canvas. Of course it hurts, and that's the point - but we bear our crosses in faith, trusting that He who began a good work in us will carry it out until the day of completion, St. Paul says. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, King David sung. We are a divine work of art. This is the 'beautiful release', however that happens to manifest itself relative to our own individuality.

It seems that the 'memories seeping from her veins' are one of the primary fountains that come surging into our consciousness once the 'release' happens. We remember something, and it itself becomes the muse which the Spirit inspires, which eventually plants the seed of our own spiritual maturation. As a result, we grow, and unbeknownst to us, but known to God and His hosts, another stroke of God's paintbrush has just been added onto our visage.

It is hard to see now how much meaning there is in such inner struggle, and so they may seem empty and weightless, but we will find peace - maybe not right away, but in God's timing.

And then we get to the sublime chorus:

In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

God carries us in our suffering and trevail. I use the 'hotel room' as a metaphor for any 'wondering in the desert' we happen to be in. You see the 'endlessness that you fear'? It seems to go on and on, with no answer in sight. But maybe we're not meant to find an answer. Why do I deserve an answer? What if I swell in pride at the fact that I have the answer? What if not having the answer is my answer? That the question itself is my answer, because it's not meant to have an answer, since the aim of the question is to change - in some mystical way - the one who questions, and the answer becomes that person one changes into.

I love the metaphor of 'wreckage', because it makes me imagine that our trials are undiscovered islands, and that our spiritual sanity is a ship which lost its way, and is now wreckage on the beach. We suffer a 'reverie', a delirium, since that's what sin does, but God swoops down and rips us from its clutches, and we see the island shrink as we soar higher and higher into the blue sky if His blessedness. That 'comfort' is a feeling beyond all rational analysis; it's a peace given to us through grace, and most definitely through the mysterious power of suffering.

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back

Perhaps the 'straight line' is the purely ethical way of life, which is good, but the Religious life is so much deeper and wider and richer; with the former, we have the risk of being a Pharisee. God doesn't want us to follow rules well, but to be transformed into little Christs. Suffering is the road to this transformative event. But we have enemies - vultures and thieves. And we all can relate to this. The world is full of selfishness, vanity, greed, and pride. Sometimes we get exploited, used, insulted, looked over, ignored, or even abused. But we have to press on, run the race, endure, perservere - if none of this happened to us, if we were pampered all our lives, who knows what snobbish creatures we'd turn into, and yet all of us have some of these traits. But the point is that alot of times our neighbor doesn't help or even hurts our journey. This is most dangerous, because the slightest bump or chink in our armor could send us down a path - without our even recognizing it - of eventual destruction. That is why 'loving our neighbor' is the second highest commandment. But this rarely happens. One day it will happen perfectly for eternity.

The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies That you make up for all that you lack

The image of a storm is perfect - the waves of the sea toss our ships to and fro, the breakers crash over the sides of our frail little boats, the lightning flashes and we catch a glimps of the mountainous valleys that encircle us, the booming thunder deafens us, the whistling rain feels like needles, our rudder is broken, our sails have ripped, our mast is snapping - and yet it keeps on twisting. Who shall save us from this tempest? And we know how much of a reed we are. The only way to save face in front of our peers or anyone is to tell lies. A lie is a very mysterious and complex affair - it is a statement, it is heard by the listener, and depending on whether the listener is convinced, a contrived image or conception is formed in the listener's mind, which completely shrouds the truth that the liar concealed. We pack on layer after layer until we've built an identity of our choosing, an image that isn't anymore God's, but our own. And we're satisfied and at ease if we're skilled, but there comes that vexing time when we're alone, confronted with those defects we can't hide from ourselves, barring complete self-deception, which is what happens when sin runs its course. As long we are given the grace to realize the level of deception going on, we can still be redeemed, accept the truth of what we are, and the Truth shall set us free.

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time It's easier to believe In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness That brings me to my knees

And this is the last glorious step. I love this line. This is the leap of faith! To 'believe'. To just believe in Him, trust Him, and love Him. In the whole of the ugly predicament seen thus far, we can perfectly call it this 'sweet madness'. This sweet madness. Just ponder that notion. It's madness, as all the skeptics and Jobs would be quick to point out. But it's sweet, for it leads to our exodus; it is the dew that forms on the leaf in the morning because of the sun. The leap of faith is so rediculed because it's so contrary to Reason, but this faith has its own reasons (Pascal) that Reason doesn't have a clue about. It's the kind of reason that changes the person, rather than answers the mind. And there's a sweetness about this numinous feeling, which takes the form of comfort spoken of earlier. It's also a 'glorious sadness', a despair which leads to salvation, and salvation that wouldn't have been given a second thought if not for the prior despair. It is the curious pain in the back that leads you to the doctor, so you have the surgery in time before the growth turns into cancer. It is that 'awefullness' which bends the knee and receives the Spirit's treatment.

Job 42: 5-6: I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

Syriana: plot outline, movie review

Almost every review of this movie has been unclear to me, so if the plot of Syriana is still blurry to you, allow me to provide the spectacles.

Simply put: where there's oil/petroleum, there's money. So, it's just a matter of different countries getting to the source, pumping it, refining it, and then giving it to other countries. Whoever gets the most oil has the most power and money.

The main character is a CIA operative/agent named Robert Barnes (Clooney). You also have a Bryan Woodman (Damon), an energy analyst; a Washington attorney (Wright) called Dean Whiting; a migrant worker from Pakistan (Munir). Okay, these are the main characters.

Now, what the heck is the plot? Everyone knows there's a bunch of oil in the Middle East. So, we (America) try to make deals with countries (in this movie, it's the al-Subaai family) over there to get us some oil. Makes sense. But we're not the only country trying to make deals. In the movie, China is getting 'rights' to drill in fields that the Middle East used to give to us. The American company hurt the most by this is Connex.

So, Prince Nasir (who is a foreign minister for 'the family') gives China the rights to drill that used to belong to Connex. The next logical step is for Connex to merge with another company, so it's not as weak: this company is Killen - Killen has rights to drill in Kazakhstan. So, if there's a merger, then Connex can drill in Kazakhstan. Now we have the Connex-Killen monster, with the 23rd biggest economy.

Now, we have 'regulators' at the Department of Justice who are getting nervous. In their way is a law firm in Washington that wants to make the merger happen with no speed-bumps. So poor Bennett Holiday (who works for the firm) has the job of trying to convince 'the regulators' that nothing illegal is going on, even though he knows there probably is.

Enter Bryan Woodman (Damon), the energy analyst. Remember the al-Subaai family? Well, Woodman is trying to offer them his services. The problem is that the al-Subaai family is busy trying to give their services to China. There's also the tragic incident involving Woodman's son jumping into a pool (a live wire - in a crack in the pool - sends a current through the water) being electrocuted to death. So, you have all the personal stuff involved in that.

The only good that comes of that is that Prince Nasir has compassion on Woodman, and makes him his economic adviser. Prince Nasir is a good guy; he's for reform, since his dad was repressive. Nasir is a democrat; his father was a dictator. But here's the problem: the dad did stuff that was better for American interests. You see the tension? His dad is still the boss, but Prince Nasir wants to eventually take his place and be a more just ruler. However, Prince
Nasir has a little brother just like his dad, so the brother is chosen to lead instead of Prince Nasir. But Prince Nasir doesn't like that, so he is going to lead a coup, which introduces the plot for America to assassinate him!

Enter CIA agent Robert Barnes, the guy who is supposed to assassinate Prince Nasir. Barnes used to stop the Middle East from getting weapons illegally, and assassinate the dealers of that, but he saw something strange. He notices that someone stole a missile: it was supposed to go to Iran, but now it's intended for Egypt. The CIA knows this, of course, but doesn't want Barnes asking any questions, so he gets a desk job, where he's supposed to shut up! But he doesn't, so he gets the assassination job.

Poor Barnes tries to get on Hezbollah's side, so they can help him assassinate the Prince, but runs into Mussawi (who was supposed to be Barnes' mercenary) who tortures Barnes, since Mussawi is an agent from Iran. This makes Barnes pissed, so he wants to tell the world about how the CIA wants to assassinate the Prince, which the CIA doesn't like. So, the CIA tries to make it look like Barnes is disobeying the CIA, acting on his own, which he his, but not for the reason the CIA is implying. Of course, Barnes finally gets to the Prince's convoy to tell him his is in danger, and a missile kills them all! Dang it.

Enter various Connex employees. These stories are about them losing their jobs because of China taking over the drilling rights in the Middle East. That sucks for them because they need money to eat, and they could get deported, because it's either citizenship or you can work for an American company that doesn't care about your citizenship. These guys run into an Islam fanatic, who gives them the assignment to kill themselves while blowing up a Connex-Killen tanker using the missile that Barnes saw (at the beginning of the movie) was stolen.

So, what about Killen? Did they get the rights to drill in Kazakhstan without breaking any laws? Donald Farish III isn't so sure (U.S. Attorney). He thinks Killen bribed somebody. Holiday (the guy who is supposed to convince the Department of Justice that nothing went wrong in the merger) discovers that Danny Dalton (an huge oil man from Texas) gave a whole bunch of money (wire transfer) to Kazakhstan. Uh oh. So, what does Holiday do? Probably what anyone would to - he tells Connex-Killen about it! But they don't care, because they don't want to care, because it'll get them in trouble and they'll lose money, since they're all greedy.

And poor Dalton. Holiday warns him that he'll be charged with corruption, since Connex-Killen needs to get the Department of Justice off them somehow - which Dalton is, since Farish basically made Holiday do it. Then Farish makes Holiday go after Pope (former ex-CEO of Killen).

Holiday and Sydney Hewitt (Holiday's mentor) then meet with now CEO of Connex-Killen, Leland "Lee" Janus. Holiday says he knows Hewitt did some illegal stuff during the merger!!! Oh no! Now Holiday can save Pope, since Hewit is 'higher-up' than Pope, and the Department of Justice will be satisfied with Hewitt going under.

So, Hewitt and Dalton go to jail, and justice is served.

Janus can then get the 'oil man of the year' award with no stress.

Throughout the movie, Holiday has to deal with his grumpy dad, but they reconcile (sort of) by the end of the movie after it's all said and done.

Any clearer?

Obama and Mao Zedong

I think I'm going to start blogging on political issues, since I think it's very important.

I think there are parallels between what Obama is doing in America, and what Mao Zedong did in China. Just hear me out. Mao Zedong lead the communist revolution in China in the Chinese Civil War against Kuomintang, who are Chinese nationalists in present-day Taiwan. Zedong became leader/dictator of the People's Republic of China from 1949 to 1976.

Are we going through a Mao-esque revolution in America under Obama? There is a book called 'Out of Mao's Shadow: The Struggle for China's Soul' by Philip P. Pan. In May 1966, Mao launched the 'Cultural Revolution'. Mao called for Capitalist representatives in Academia to be denounced, along with those in 'education, news, arts, and publishing circles'. There was then an 'anti-rightist' compaign, which has scary parallels to today's media where 'right-wing' is a four-letter-word: if the country is on the same track as China, the media might be in cahoots with the Maoists, or are Maoists themselves. If so, they may - if we use historical precedent - desire to put dissenters (if they had the power) into prison-camps: they don't like the nationalist, America-first way of life - they want to destroy that. They may be the enemy.

Work teams, in China, were sent to 'newspapers, schools, universities, and other cultural departments' to 'purge' Capitalist Representatives 'in the leadership of each institution'! In July, Mao made it clear that this was more than just a 'witch-hunt'. And this is where it gets eerie. Moa encouraged university students to organize themselves into the notorious Red Guard. When the 'students' and the 'work teams' clashed, Mao backed the students, the Red Guard! The work teams were bombarded, and the 'top party leaders' were 'attacked'!

Mau then had 'Nuremberg style rallies in Tiananmen Square' at which Mao gave the Red Guard the authority to 'unmask' Capitalist 'revisionists', 'hiding in positions of authority'. And the Red Guard murdered them! There was 'mass execution across China'!

What does this have to do with Obama? Well, what is vexing is that Obama has aligned himself with Communist dictators (Chavez and Castro), with Hillary doing the same thing.

Obama said something very interesting that makes you wonder if he has something like a Red Guard in mind - that once he had the Power, he'd create something equivalent to the Red Guards. I'll quote Obama directly:

"We cannot continue to rely only on our Military in order to achieve the National Security objectives that we've set. We've gotta have a Civilian National Security Force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded."

Let's call this Force CNSF, for short. CNSF is the same thing as the Red Guards! They'll go after any political enemy they can get to, even as the Communists did in Russia. This is all very possible based on historical precedent; but will it? Well, Obama said plain as day what he was going to do when he won, and when he had enough power. What are the steps to getting this kind of power, since he can't do this right away as President.

Well, Obama has been following the play-book of dictators play-by-play (it seems) to get this kind of power. First, Obama got control of the banks, finance, of the financiers. In order to get the Capitalists who screwed us (the financiers) in Obama's pocket, they took our tax-money in Tart and Bail-out funds and bought the financiers off through Goldman Sach. Even under Bush, they turned Goldman Sach - which was a private investment bank - into a regular bank so they could qualify for these Tart funds. This was the greatest theft of American history! They took our tax money and gave these theives billions of dollars so they can keep on stealing. And it wasn't just this investment bank, but many others, and many other banks in general as well. What's good for Goldman Sach isn't necessarily good for America.

Second, Obama takes over General Motors, rewarding the Unions, gutting the best American automobile company, also destroying Chrysler, so he can bail out the private investment group 'Servers Capital Management', which isn't even a public company - these are private investors lead by a former Treasury Secretary, who came from Goldman Sach. Obama bailed them out with our money, our tax dollars. So, Obama owns them, as well.

Third, you have socialized medicine/health-care coming up, socialized climate-control (a.k.a. the Global Warming Movement), etc . . .

Obama is taking one step at a time until he has power over everything, the power needed to create this Civilian National Security Force. He needs to silence opposition, all the powerful forces in America that might dissent and call him out on what he might be doing.

But the media is silent! It's a shame. So, we're left wondering if the media is in cahoots with the goverment. Hence, the saying 'the goverment-media complex'. The media is destroying America, because they have the power to call them out. They're not, so they're enabling the government to enact and begin this Mao-esque revolution in America.

If enough of us start catching the drift on what's going on here, we can still stop this.